This speaks for itself. Enjoy.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Don't Vote...

A well crafted viral video. Take a look and remember the wise words of Sarah Silverman, you can literally register to vote while you're poopin'.

Is there a special place in hell for people who...

Yeah, never mind Dante's Inferno and it's multiple levels (oh, I just thought of an idea for jewelry) but back to business. I'd like to think there are more current "rings" for the following people:

Those in the turn lane, who wait for the light to turn green and THEN signal they are turning.

Owners who neglect to pick up after their dogs.

Movie theater patrons who don't take their trash with them when they leave.

Customers that don't take the time to stack their grocery baskets into each other while waiting in the check out line.

I'm sure there are even more "rings" that I can't think of right now, thank you Charles Shaw.

Perhaps this will be an ongoing project.

Light 'em up

This weekend I'm basically trying to create interesting new classes. As Cristal Connors so wisely said, "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you."

In the Bay Area there's been a tidal wave of crafters coming into the market. Which means more competition for the ever shrinking discretionary dollar.

So, I'm spending the entire day working on project samples for 2009 new classes. I decided to ramp it up a bit as I won't have much free time over the next few months. I've been playing with fire all day, as well as riveting metal.

I feel so butch handling all these tools, but of course if my ipod was plugged into a speaker for all to hear, that image would be blown out the window, as I've been "spinning around" with Kylie while I create.

Back to birthin' out some ideas.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah, it's frickin' still September, but if you gauge your holidays on the visit to the local mall, Christmas is like in two weeks.

While picking up some crafting supplies at Beverly's, a store I would say is like a slightly disorganized half sister to Michael's.

She's cute when she needs to be and has great sale prices (hello 90% off holiday merchandise). But the store has a common approach to merchandising that would drive Martha crazy - the center aisle is devoted to what I like to call Country Clutter. But I digress.

Beverly (or rather the employees of Beverly's) were already stocking Christmas decorations. Of course as a crafty mofo I have no intention of buying my decorations or gifts. I'll be making my own thank you very much

I think Tim Burton was on to something with his film A Nightmare Before Christmas. We just need to stop the nonsense and combine the two holidays already.

And before I forget why is Perez Hilton making appearances on Martha's show before I do?

It was a difficult labor...

But after a few screams and intense pushes I popped this bad boy out.

Okay, who am I kidding creating a blog is as easy as pie.

So what took me so long?

Ohhhh I can name a few things, as well as a couple of names, but this ain't a gossipy dlisted.com type of site.

Well, perhaps it will be. We'll have to see.

I guess blogs are kind of like kids, you really don't know what they will grow into.

Of course no one is selling ad space on their kids.

Yet.

So, what's up with the title?

Well, a friend sent me a simple, yet poetic postcard and the front read, you guessed it.

YOU CRAFTY MOTHER F*#%ER.

It's on my fridge right now. Like an altar I pray to every morning.

I think my cleaning lady, Tilde thinks it's odd, but I'm not sure she understands it. Oh well, makes me feel edgy.

Personally, I've always seen myself as a cross between Martha Stewart and Christopher Lowell, I've got her commitment to crafts and his hairline.

But getting those two to procreate would require a serious batch of her blood orange margaritas.

But again, who am I kidding, I'm not a fancy East Coaster or flamboyant Hollywood queen.

I know where I come from...a flyover state that kicked Obamania into high gear and now, well I'm in your computer.

Keep on creating!