Screwed.

I hate being "screwed".

But really, does anyone enjoy that feeling?

Of course, what I really hate is when I don't listen to my intuition and do what I think I should do right away.

To avoid being screwed in life, I've tried to follow a simple set of rules.

Some of them include:

• Start crafting your Christmas gifts in July.
• Stay away from credit cards - they're the devil.
• Avoid mayonnaise-based dips on sunny days.

I've added:

• Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can accomplish today!

Done.

Now I'm going to go wallow in my bad judgment.

Happy Monday.

It was a difficult labor...

But after a few screams and intense pushes I popped this bad boy out.

Okay, who am I kidding creating a blog is as easy as pie.

So what took me so long?

Ohhhh I can name a few things, as well as a couple of names, but this ain't a gossipy dlisted.com type of site.

Well, perhaps it will be. We'll have to see.

I guess blogs are kind of like kids, you really don't know what they will grow into.

Of course no one is selling ad space on their kids.

Yet.

So, what's up with the title?

Well, a friend sent me a simple, yet poetic postcard and the front read, you guessed it.

YOU CRAFTY MOTHER F*#%ER.

It's on my fridge right now. Like an altar I pray to every morning.

I think my cleaning lady, Tilde thinks it's odd, but I'm not sure she understands it. Oh well, makes me feel edgy.

Personally, I've always seen myself as a cross between Martha Stewart and Christopher Lowell, I've got her commitment to crafts and his hairline.

But getting those two to procreate would require a serious batch of her blood orange margaritas.

But again, who am I kidding, I'm not a fancy East Coaster or flamboyant Hollywood queen.

I know where I come from...a flyover state that kicked Obamania into high gear and now, well I'm in your computer.

Keep on creating!